whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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