Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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