Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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