i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
