would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she told me i tasted like america
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
