i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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