i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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