Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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