Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
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Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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