Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize