Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
