meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
