I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
