I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
