I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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