p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
