Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
