my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
