Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
