I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
