Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
