I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
