does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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