i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
