I just made out with a guy for $7.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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