Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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