alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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