Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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