Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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