i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
