The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
