she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
