Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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