Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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