I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize