It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
