This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
