Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
