we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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