WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
