Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
