I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
