i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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