The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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