You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
