Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
babies were throwing up all over the place
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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