hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
this hospital has no fireball
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Let's get the cat blown out
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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