Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
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You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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