Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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