So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
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Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
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I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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