Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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