I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
