so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
