I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So many bounce houses so little time
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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