There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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