I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
