i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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