I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
