yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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