this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
