the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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